


robbers rejoicing

by lovelylogans



Series: 13 days of halloween [3]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Drunkenness, Gen, Trick or Treating, drunk college kids deserve candy too kay, drunk girls in the bathroom, except they're on the porch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-21
Updated: 2019-10-21
Packaged: 2020-12-27 15:17:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21120905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelylogans/pseuds/lovelylogans
Summary: It didn’t take very long for the first “oh shit, you’re giving out candy?” to float indelicately from the porch.“Well, you gotta say trick or treat, but yeah!” Patton said back.“Oh, right, yeah—trick or treat?”“Here ya go!”“Whoa, thanks, man—just one, or—““You can take a whole handful, if you want, I’ve got plenty.”“Fuckin’ siiiiiick, dude, thanks!”“No problem—happy Halloween! Stay hydrated, be safe, make good choices!”Roman snorted, and Virgil elbowed him in the side.“What?” Roman said. “He’s dad-ing random strangers off the street!”or: the others attempt to tell patton that a college-kid predominant neigborhood won't be prone to trick-or-treaters. they are wrong.





	robbers rejoicing

**Author's Note:**

> _Hallowe’en provided an opportunity for real strenuous fun. No real damage was done except to the temper of some who had to hunt for wagon wheels, gates, wagons, barrels, etc., much of which decorated the front street. The youthful tormentors were at back door and front demanding edible plunder by the word “trick or treat” to which the inmates gladly responded and sent the robbers away rejoicing._
> 
> -_[blackie, alberta](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trick-or-treating#cite_note-29)_, the earliest known use of the term “trick or treat” in print
> 
> **notes**: so, this is for the 13 days of halloween prompt over at [@sanderssidescelebrations](https://tmblr.co/me3fpjJwTCUEF4FCy2lDM4A)! today’s prompt is **trick or treat**!

“Look, pumpkin Pat-ch, it’s a nice gesture and everything,” Roman said. “But I _really_ don’t think anyone is going to show up to trick or treat here.”

Patton gives Roman a fittingly parental chiding look. “Well, isn’t it better to be safe than sorry?”

“We live in an apartment that is predominantly, if not entirely, populated by college students,” Logan said patiently. “In terms of holidays, more people go drinking on Halloween than on New Year’s Eve, especially within our age bracket.”

“Drunk college kids like candy, too,” Patton pointed out, and, well. None of them could really argue with that.

Virgil did, however, make sure that Patton has the door to the house cracked just so slightly open so that they’d be able to hear him if he called for help. Just in case. Drunk people weren’t really known for their calm, polite demeanors.

So Virgil and Roman sat on the couch and watch _The Nightmare Before Christmas_ as Logan read _Frankenstein,_ and they kept an ear out for Patton on the porch, singing and humming absently to himself.

It didn’t take very long for the first “oh shit, you’re giving out candy?” to float indelicately from the porch.

“Well, you gotta say _trick or treat,_ but yeah!” Patton said back.

“Oh, right, yeah—trick or treat?”

“Here ya go!”

“Whoa, thanks, man—just one, or—“

“You can take a whole handful, if you want, I’ve got plenty.”

“Fuckin’ _siiiiiick,_ dude, thanks!”

“No problem—happy Halloween! Stay hydrated, be safe, make good choices!”

Roman snorted, and Virgil elbowed him in the side.

“What?” Roman said. “He’s dad-ing random strangers off the street!”

“BRO!” floated in even more indelicately from the street. “BRO, HE’S GIVING OUT CANDY! HE’S GOT REESE’S, BRO!”

Virgil’s the one who snorts, this time, as Logan pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed loudly as another voice shouted “DUDE, FOR REAL?!”

The continuous pour of noise after that is nowhere near as gentle and familiar as Patton singing quietly to himself.

There was a group of friends who probably live in the apartment complex coming back from a liquor store trip who exclaim over the free candy.

There was a group of fraternity brothers going out for a night on the town. 

One of their neighbors was apparently having a party, and each of their guests started making a detour to pick up some free candy to get the night started.

There’s some sorority sisters, one of whom had a last-minute wardrobe malfunction that Patton apparently helped stitch up. Virgil hadn’t even _known_ that Patton could sew.

Virgil’s still hearing the group of sorority girls giggle and squeal when his phone buzzes.

_Hey, kiddo! Could you or Roman bring out some more candy? It’s in the cupboard above the microwave._

Virgil showed Roman the screen. Roman held up his hands immediately, primed for rock-paper-scissors.

Virgil lost.

So Virgil goes to get a bag of candy—apparently, Patton bought _five—_and stepped hesitantly onto the porch, ready to toss the bag and run if it got too awkward.

He ended up freezing awkwardly in the middle of the doorway.

So, they’ve got a rocking chair on the porch. That was where Virgil last saw Patton sitting.

Now, a woman in what Virgil was pretty sure was a black cat costume was sitting there instead, parsing through Patton’s curls with her fingers, eyes narrowed in focus, as Patton did something similar with a woman in a... you know what, Virgil had no idea what she was supposed to be, but she had her eyes mostly shut as Patton braided her hair back. She was gesticulating wildly with the mini-bottle of wine she’s got clutched in an iron grip.

“An’s’like,” she slurred, “I _deserve_ better, you know?!”

“You do,” Patton said loyally. “You _so_ do, sugar.”

“He’s an asshat,” the woman in the cat costume said sagely, then, “What shampoo do you use? It smells _so_ nice.”

“Thanks!” Patton said. “It’s formulated for curls. But, I mean,” he continued to the girl on the ground, “You really gotta think about what’s best for _you,_ right? Breakups hurt, trust me, I’ve been there, but you’ve gotta put _you_ first, not him. You’ve been putting in a hundred and ten percent, and it sounds like he hasn’t been treating you with the respect and care you deserve.”

“He didn’evn show up to our fun’raiser,” she said. “We were helpin’ kids with _cancer_ and shit, and he skipped’t to go fuckin’ _axe throwing._ I mean, who _does_ that?!”

“Um,” Virgil said awkwardly from where he’s caught between the door and the doorframe.

“Oh, hey, Virgil!” Patton said brightly, but not moving from where’s been caught in the braiding-hair-train. “Ladies, this is Virgil, he’s my roommate. Virgil, this is Olivia, and this is Brittany—it is Brittany, right?”

“Y’can call me Brit,” the drunker girl murmured. “You’re cool.”

“Aw, thanks!” Patton said. “And thanks for the candy, Virgil—Brit, I’m pretty sure this pack has got Crunch bars, you said those were your favorite, right?”

“Oh, hell yeah,” Brit said, and Patton carefully tied back the braid before he reached for the bag, digging out some mini Crunch bars for Brit to snatch. Brit does, and then Brit squinted up at him in the midst of gnawing absently at one of her chocolate bars.

“D’you want some?”

“I,” Virgil said. “Me?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh. Um. That’s—“

“You seem kinda emo,” Brit said. “Chocolate would help. And, like, clothes that actually fit you.”

Virgil could hear Roman cackling in the living room.

“Come on, we’re having girl talk,” Olivia said brightly. “After we convince Brit to dump Brett—”

“Your boyfriend’s name is Brett?” Patton asked, and Brit sighed.

“The alliteration was half the reason we got together.”

“—I could totally give you advice on how to get discounted eyeshadow, not the drugstore stuff I can tell you’re using.” 

Virgil felt unaccountably stung. His three-dollar mini-palette that he tended to pick up while he was in the pharmacy waiting for his anxiety medication had served him well over the years, _thank you._

But... well....

“Plus, some that’s a bit more pigmented than that, if you’re gonna go for the emo look you gotta _go_ for the emo look, you know?”

Virgil hesitated, and Patton grinned up at him. 

“You can help me pass out candy for trick-or-treaters, too,” Patton said. “I’ll give you some of the extra I’ve got stashed away as thanks.”

Virgil sighed.

“All right,” Virgil said, and plonked himself down onto their patio floor, helping himself to a handful of random chocolate candies. “Fuck it. Sure. Teach me all the secrets of eyeshadow.”


End file.
